Self-awareness is generally considered a good thing. We are encouraged to understand our attachment style, identify our triggers, recognise our patterns and become more emotionally intelligent.

But there is a point at which self-awareness can become another form of avoidance.

It is possible to become very good at explaining ourselves without necessarily becoming any better at experiencing ourselves.

We can know why we behave the way we do, where it came from, what our childhood was like, what our attachment style might be and which parts of us are being activated, while still repeating exactly the same patterns.

Understanding is not always the same as change.